oh eff.

TGIF from El Paso's most inconsistent blogger *shudders*. 

Silas and I just returned home from a Dunkin' run . . . you know, for pumpkin donuts and all because #fall. And we're nothing if not basic over here at Casa de Orcutt. 

But in full disclosure, I needed an excuse a distraction to get out of the house, just to spend even a few minutes with my boy. Pumpkin donuts secured, we drove back home along our familiar route, making sure to pass all the beautiful trees down commanders row, a reminder of our midwestern roots. But as we neared the house, a lump formed in my throat. My precious Lydia will be waiting for me, but instead of being right at the door, wondering what I got her, she will be where I left her 20 minutes prior . . . in my bed, asleep from all her pain medication. 

We've been flying high the last 6 weeks since Lydia made a miraculous recovery from her terrifying decline in the middle of August. Matt made it home just in time from his deployment in Houston (God be praised). We hope you have enjoyed following along with us during that magical time as we camped, talked all things RV, went on glorious walks, entertained family, ate yummy food, went horseback riding, boating, watched all the out-door movies. I am certainly not God, nor do I understand His ways, but it appears (as of today), that our fun in the sun as a family of four is drawing to an end. It is my most heart-felt prayer that I get to say a big PSYCHE in a follow-up blog post, and tell of the wonders of yet another one of Lydia's miraculous recoveries. 

This past week, we've noticed changes in Lydia . . . wondering if they were side effects of a newer protocol she's been on or if, fears confirmed, a result of the tumor progression. I have kept pretty quiet about it all, not fully understanding what was at-hand. And also not mentally prepared to answer any follow-up questions. Things took a drastic turn Wednesday night and haven't really changed since. Our aim is to keep her comfortable while still lamenting to God for another miracle. Will you please pray that along with us? Next week is a very big week . . . my best friend since high school is getting married and Lydia is beside herself with joy to be her flower girl. It's too much to bear to think that we won't make it. Please God, have mercy.

We will do our best to keep Lydia's Army updated in the coming days . . . mainly through our IG account and word of mouth from family. Thank you for holding our family close this past YEAR and for the innumerable prayers. Thank you doesn't even begin to cover it.