Bummer.
But before I digress down a rabbit hole, we have some GREAT news to report since our last check-in. Lydia has had 3 full rounds of her immunotherapy drug WITHOUT getting sick. Praise Jesus. I am so happy, I could just about do my own Renegade on Tik Tok. But I will spare you.
Thank you for praying alongside us. Thank you for loving us. I can't let myself think about what life could look like in this season without the support we have in you, in Lydia's Army.
And would it be appropriate now to ask for the hugest favor? We have a big day coming up tomorrow (Tuesday). Both Lydia and Silas have brain MRIs. We could use ALL.THE.PRAYERS. Lydia's MRI will be 3 months since her last one in January . . . and this time around, we will hopefully get a better read since her post-radiation swelling will be completely gone. It will also show us if her new immunotherapy drug is doing its job. Silas's MRI is for preventative measures . . . we've been advised to follow an annual scan schedule for each kiddo to help us keep this shit in a box.
You know that aforementioned rabbit hole? Yea, it was a B. I cannot begin to describe how deep into the pit of despair I fell. I allowed myself to go there, let the fear consume me, thinking about the possibility of both my precious babes having cancer. Even now, I'm blurry-eyed typing this out. It took a few days, but I eventually crawled out of the pit and went on with life. Nothing hugely momentous to credit the change in my emotions, just riding the ride I guess. The ups and downs are our new normal. Meh.
The conviction (lightbulb, moment of clarity, ah-ha!) was a little slow on the up-take and came rearing its head 2 weeks post-meltdown. And [shocker!] came from my current, favorite author and self-help queen, Lysa Terkeurst. She writes:
Comfort isn't a solution to seek; rather it's a by-product we'll reap when we stay close to the Lord.Mmmkay. Yea, so in hindsight, I can easily see how my choices to watch Tiger King, stalk the Insta-stories of my fave home design couple, and read countless reviews on Amazon for plastic food containers didn't really set me up for lasting comfort. Ouch.
This journey is impossible and I'll take any form of distraction from it. However, this conviction was timely (per usual for our God) insofar distractions can be a welcomed reprieve, so long as God remains my central focus.
I'm gonna have to keep working on this. Each day. And I will. I have to for the sake my little family . . . especially that cutie, selfie-king with his Michael Jordan tongue.
Come follow along with our shenanigans here. We will also be updating throughout the day (as we can) tomorrow on both the kiddos.
<3
Looking forward to your writing and blog. :-)
ReplyDeleteHey, thanks so much! Appreciate it.
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